It was a mistake, I swear
by Shacho Rufaasu
Summary: Lunchtime for Shinra... What craziness will ensue, when the president has to deal with the ever-hyperactive dark-haired SOLDIER? Hinted yaoi, RufusxZack.. somethin you never see, huh?


**It was a mistake, I swear…**

**A/N:** Yeah, this was spawned out of a conversation with meh buddy Zack. ; Hence why… this is going to be a FIC (stop laughing at me you bastard Dx) with just Rufus and Zack of FFVII.

I don't own FFVII, by the way. 83

On with the… humiliating show.

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It was odd.

You'd never see it before now, two completely different ranks, opposites of the spectrum, hanging out together. Well, you might, but in this instance, in this world, it was really very strange.

Why was Zack Fair, a First Class SOLDIER, best friends with the President of Shinra, Rufus Shinra?

Unheard of, right?

Well, not in this universe.

It was lunchtime for the working class and everyone of course had their times where they would be allowed to leave and go have their daily nutritional consumption... whatever that meant. And ironically, these two had their lunch breaks at the exact same time.

So, often they went out to eat together. Don't question it, they just do. And yes, for all the … fangirls… out there… It's because of _that._

But no, they are not _dates._ So stop assuming and keep reading.

Rufus, being the hard worker that he was trying to pay off extreme planetary debt and dealing with every possible dilemma as every good world leader does, he had absolutely zero sense of the time. He had watches, clocks, and his computers of course, but his eyes just never seemed to trace along those meaningless numbers… Just the ones he was required to pay attention to.

He had his own sort of... alarm clock anyway. Tap, tap, tap, went his pen, as he counted down… On the final tap, the—

"RUFFLES!" screamed a never-gone-unrecognized dark haired SOLDIER, as the door flew off its hinges via foot for possibly the two hundredth and sixty-seventh time; as Rufus recalled anyway.

Yes, he was obsessive with numbers. He stared at them all day, after all, save for those… four digits. He had the utmost exasperation in his voice that just _never_ wanted to die. Rufus dreaded, and made a ruling, to _never_ give him anything containing any kind of sugar or sweetener, whether it be artificial or natural, or – for the love of all things living – caffeine, for the sake of his own life.

"It's time for lunch!!" he exclaimed like a two-year-old that had just finished his chores for the first time all on is own. Clapping included with the fancy dance-wiggle as well. Knowing that he'd have no time to object, Rufus was already standing. The hyperactive SOLDIER snatched the other's wrist and quite literally _flew_ out of the room. "Vittles time!!"

What in the _world_ had this man, who was _older_ than him, could he have consumed this morning to make him so… so… _effervescent?_

And everyone questioned why Rufus was in a constant state of paranoia whenever he was within a fifty mile radius. He actually did set off the company alarm once _just because_ he'd gotten word from one of his Turks that Zack had gotten his hands on a small sugar packet found in the restaurants everywhere.

He hadn't eaten it of course, but precaution was necessary with this man… just look at him _now._

"W-where are we going?" Rufus asked finally, possibly the only thing he'd said all day, not counting that phone conference this morning, which he abruptly, after arguing for three hours with the same man who claimed to be several others, hanging up on him.

The SOLDIER felt his crank winding down, and came to a stop. "You know, I didn't think of that."

…how surprising.

Rufus wiggled his arm, unable to get it out of the extreme vice-grip that the other had. He grunted in discomfort. "Zack… My hand…"

He glanced. Oh, right. Rufus wasn't a rag doll. "Oops." he muttered as he released it. Rufus went about examining his would-have-been broken hand, cracking several joints and letting the blood flow again. He chuckled nervously. "Sorry about that. Anyway, let's go over here!"

Rufus didn't much of a glance, as per usual. Zack's speedometer never went below seventy.

He was dragged into a mini-market. Oh god. Zack knew how much Rufus detested being in these… commoner like places, all the filth, dust… so many things out of place and unorganized. Yes, Rufus was just a little obsessive-compulsive. Just a _little._

"Why are we here..." The man in white groaned as his wrist was suffocated by the grip of the other once again. He looked all around, and made a mental note to fire whoever took care of this place.

"Cheap food, Ruffles! We can get _loads_ of things here, and it's not so bad." He added the last bit after seeing the sour expression he was receiving. "Oh come on. You'll love it." He pulled the other to him, nuzzling him affectionately.

"Don't!" Rufus pulled away as if he were made of needles. He cleared his throat, attempting and failing to force down a blush. "…Not in public…"

"Public?" The SOLDIER looked all around. Left, right, the ceiling, under his boot. He even grabbed onto a bar on the ceiling and scoped the entire store.

"What are you _doing?!_" Rufus hissed out of embarrassment, his blush only deepening.

Zack released the bar and fell down, easily catching himself without a sway. "This place is hardly _public_ Ruffles. No one else is here except the clerks! C'mon..." He slinked his arm into his, a big grin spread across his face.

Rufus sighed, probably red as a tomato now. "Zack…" he groaned in defeat.

Zack of course, did all the buying. He picked up some bag of chips, some packaged pre-made sandwiches, two drinks, and some other snacks. He was having a ball, until Rufus had to _deliberately_ force him to stop. But the only way he could do that was by meeting _Zack's_ terms. The very common, "I'll stop _IF…_"

…He hated his job sometimes. Well, more of the people who he had to work _with._

Of course Rufus would have to give up his dignity if he wanted to get Zack out of the damn store already. He sighed heavily. "Okay, fine, what do you want so we can get out of here…?"

Zack instantly beamed… and perked his lips.

Rufus stared at him oddly. He was terrible at reading body language. "What?"

He did it again, only this time, added a 'mwah.'

Rufus caught on that time. "Oh… _no._"

Zack whined, stomped the ground in a pout. "Then we aren't leaving!"

"Zack—" Rufus began in objection.

"Just one?" Zack whined. "I promise, just one, quick..."

"No!" He could feel another heat rising in his cheeks.

"Please? I—"

"No.."

"Oh, please, Ruffles? Then we can—"

"_No!!_" This was so frustrating… He was about ready to just leave him himself.

Zack grinned maliciously, which Rufus did not like. He knew very well to _never_ believe that Zack _didn't_ have a dark side. Oh yes, he was one of the ones that would wait for you to just let your guard down, and… "I'll make you do it."

Rufus was slowly inching away now. But they were in an aisle in the back of the store. "..No you won't." he said with a bit of uncertainty in his tone.

But he only grinned wider, setting his things down, raising his hands in intimidation. It was working. "Yes, I will. You will kiss me!"

"No I—Zack!" Rufus struggled to get away as the SOLDIER grabbed him, yelping out in frustration as he tried to get away from the attack upon him, turning his head this way and that to avoid the other, all the while trying to get out of the glomp he was locked in.

"C'mon, just one I said! One is all!"

"No, Zack, let _go!!_"

"Why not, huh?! C'mere!"

"NO! Argg_hhnn!!_"

"Mwahaha! Haha! Mwah mwah!"

"_ZAAACK._"

The clerks up front were very scared by now, wondering just what was going on in the back... They could barely see the struggling between their world leader and some SOLDIER that they'd seen several times, but…

They were much too afraid to go and look into the matter themselves, not wanting to be… taken down by the mako-infused combatant or fired by their boss… which they believed had an incredibly nasty temper. It seemed to be showing now in the struggle they were having.

Couldn't he just... call in the Turks or something? Seriously…

Finally, after several minutes, Zack managed lip contact. He released him afterwards, as promised, both gasping and panting from the struggle. "You know, they'll seriously think we were more than fighting back here." He said playfully, grinning.

Rufus was leaning over, curling his lips and gasping for air. "…Shut up… Zack…" he groaned. "Just… shut up…"

After all the items were purchased, Rufus trying to hide his face-so-red-that-he-could-crap-tomatoes face, and the clerk's failing attempts at the, we-didn't-see-or-hear-anything blank expression, they went outside, walked a few blocks, and went to a private sitting spot that was past some alleyways. No one ever went here except them. So it seemed, anyway.

They'd finished lunch. But it was well passed the end of lunch time… But they didn't care, really. Rufus was the President anyway, what could they do about it?

Slumped on one of the structures in that area, Zack limp on top of him, he panted, wiping his brow. His jackets and shirts that he wore in numbers over his body were completely open, his pants loose and practically falling off his body anyway. He'd been too lazy to pick up after himself.

Zack was completely topless, his pants in his same fashion. He was too tired to get up. Knowing this, Rufus sighed, closing his eyes as he pushed his hair aside. "I really... hate you… sometimes." He grumbled in exhaustion, panting once more. He glanced down at his glazed body, as well as Zack's. "Ugh. We have to shower now..."

Zack laughed softly, slowly raising himself off of Rufus, staring down at him. He grinned once more, his energy having been spent. He caressed his cheek. "Don't worry about it."

Rufus smiled faintly and stared up at him. "Why not?"

He giggled. "You know I always think of something."

Rufus glanced over at their little trash pile that would need to be thrown away whenever he decided to get up. Or Zack decided to get up, anyway. Despite completely hating the store, he had to admire its good use of being able to buy a basket of things for the less. "Well, thank you for buying lunch again… It was for a really good fuck, too..."

Zack smiled, but then caught that last part. "Fuck?"

Instantly realizing his mistake, Rufus shuttered. "Buck! I meant buck…"

"You said 'fuck!'" Zack exclaimed, and began laughing as he jumped up. "…For a really good _fuck!_"

"Buck, damn it!" Rufus argued, getting up quickly, instantly regretting it from the pain. Zack laughed harder.

"Fuuuuuck!"

"Buck!"

Zack began dancing around, laughing. "Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck fuck fuck... I am a really good fuck, aren't I?!"

He was more than delighted with this. Rufus was just having a freaking _ball._ "No, Zack! I mean... God... damn it..." He smacked his forehead, sighing hard.

"It was a mistake, I swear…"

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End! Hope you enjoyed. 8D


End file.
